MA Firearm Safety

We have repeatedly, constantly heard the hype from media talking heads, and their politically elite pals concerning ‘assault ‘ weapons. I would like to broaden the scope of this erroneously overused misused term. Not to add to the panic mode propagated by the media and politicians that they want everyone to feel, but instead to use a little satire to show their true agenda.

In their blind zeal to disarm us they have overlooked a wide variety of ‘assault’ weapons, it amazes me. Here goes, seriously folks!

Rocks, the first and arguably the oldest ‘assault’ weapons, they are still lurking around us to this very day….

Rocks, are not just rocks, sure, on the outside they may look like your run of the mill ordinary innocent inanimate objects, but don’t let that fool ya, they can become deadly ‘assault’ rocks at a moments notice, we could even be justified in calling them minute rocks! Just take a good look down at the ground, you will see them looking back at you, sizing you up for the kill!

There are sharp edged scary looking shaped rocks, smooth rounded beach bum rocks, they may look benign, but make no mistake, they are just as capable as the sharp scary looking ‘assault’ rocks, believe it or else….

Let’s not forget the single shot slingshot rocks, (a very high trajectory) or the high capacity bag of rocks, these are very bad actors…..then there are the catapult grade of rocks, very lethal and destructive, they have been known to take down castles! Ya, castles!! So how secure do you feel in your stick house now?

People have been, and still are stoned by rocks using the carpet bomb method in large caliber configurations…. Boulder sized rocks should be classified as weapons of massive destruction!

Should laws be passed banning rocks? Maybe all rocks should be destroyed as an answer to stopping the evil they seem to be surely capable of! Loner rocks need to be rounded up and studied to see why they became loners, were they bullied by larger rocks when they were mere pebbles?

This is the reason rocks get away with evil doing, rocks, like many other objects, (except one) have the uncanny ability to do evil deeds, then shift the blame onto unsuspecting humans! This is completely missed by politicians and the media alike!

I’ll give you a few examples; Hammers, if you bother to look up the stats on these little hoodlums you will discover that they get away with hundreds of blunt trauma deaths every year. They are true masters at shifting the blame to humans…..undetected by politicians who should be writing legislation to ban them! Really!

Knives, and all their sharp edged ilk, even dull ones are no joke, yet with all the death and mayhem that yearly they are responsible for, they get away with it by shifting the blame to humans! Politicians again appear amazingly clueless! No save the children speeches if one life can be saved! No legislation to ban them, nothing. True statement!

Vehicles of any size. The deaths these are responsible for on a yearly basis eclipses almost everything else combined!
You are innocently driving down the road and suddenly, without warning, your vehicle careens off the road into a large group of people! The media immediately shifts the blame away from the vehicle and onto you! The vehicle has evilly shifted the guilt from itself to the human who was riding helplessly inside! And no one notices! No one!
As a matter of fact everyone is in agreement with the media that the person in the car is to blame!

Again, there is no hysteria from politicians to ban vehicles, amazing! There is no room here to even scratch the surface on drugs and alcohol and the deaths it causes…

The objects already noted, as well as countless others not mentioned, all have the unique ability to shift their evil deeds onto humans, undetected, all except one category, guns.

Guns must not have evolved to that level of deceit yet. Maybe it’s because in the larger overall scheme of things, they have not been around that long? They still have a learning curve? Who knows.

It is blatantly obvious that guns cannot fool the politicians or media, guns are blamed for every act they commit, as if they had a mind, to do it.
Politicians jump up and scream, think of the children! Ban the guns! With no thought of swimming pools and children…if they really cared about children….

I am completely stymied, really, as to why media manure spreaders and their political cronies can’t see blame in the other examples of objects mentioned? They certainly and clearly see that blame ‘needs’ to rest on the guns??

Footnote:
Definition of ‘assault’; noun, a sudden, violent attack; onslaught.
Law, An unlawful physical attack upon another; an attempt or offer to do violence to another, with or without battery, as by holding a stone or club in a threatening manner.
Verb, (used with an object) to make an assault upon; attack; assail.

Moral of the story:

So ‘assault’ is a behavior, not a weapon, an object cannot ‘behave’ one way or another, it can only be manipulated.

It always ends up with a human engaging in unacceptable behavior, not the inanimate object a criminal uses….

Mark Shean and
Co-conspirator in this
Satirical endeavor
Ed Sinnott